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Raising Children

Raising resilient children

Resilience is the ability to “bounce back” from hard times, manage difficult feelings and cope with day-to-day stresses and major life events. Resilient children are more likely to have happier relationships, be successful with school and live healthier lives. Research shows that resilient youth are less likely to experience problems related to substance use, tobacco use, mental health, gang participation, gambling, gaming, or other potentially harmful or unhealthy behaviors, and have improved coping and decision-making skills.

You can help your child learn resilience and manage feelings by supporting them to:

Children learn by watching us. Model how you accept different emotions
Talk about feelings
Help your child to recognize their own emotions

Help children to learn words, expressions and actions that are okay
Weddings, funerals and celebrations are opportunities for children to learn how your family and culture express and cope with emotions
Help your child talk about feelings. Ask them how they feel about events and how they think others might be feeling

Watch your child for signs of stress that they might not be able to put into words, like being fussier. Use play, art, or pretend games to help your child express their fears

Help your child to look at the sunny side of life and appreciate simple pleasures
Encourage your child to be a “thought catcher” - replace negative thoughts with more positive ones

Set a good example. Let your child see how you deal with problems.
Encourage your child to find their own answers, rather than solving problems for them
Teach your child relaxation and breathing techniques to manage stress

Emotions like anger, jealousy, rejection and loss are part of everyday life
Help your child when they are distressed, by being available, and listening. Children need to know that parents understand how they are feeling
Stay calm and avoid getting angry or upset

Be available, reassure them of their safety and help them work through the crisis

During stress and change, spend extra time with your child to help them feel secure. Maintain your family routine so your child will know what to predict
While routines are important, your child also needs unstructured time to relax and play
Some children can be stressed by upsetting news stories; don’t hide what is happening, but taking a break from “plugged in” time can help