Think Twice

What to do when your child doesn't behave...

Re-direct or distract your child.

Try to focus your child's attention on something else. Suggest a new activity or introduce a new toy.

Use humour.

Change uncooperative behaviour by making your child laugh and have fun doing what you are asking. Make a game of how to set the table or tidy a bedroom.

Have a time out, or time in.

Sometimes children need to be removed from a situation in order to calm down. Or, you may need to leave the room so your child can be alone to calm down. A "time in" can also be helpful in some situations. A few minutes alone with you may be all that your child needs to feel more secure and behave better.

Be practical with consequences for behaviour.

Clearly explain (ahead of time) what privileges will be lost if your child doesn't behave. "Remember not to throw your toys this time - or we'll put them away until after nap time," not - "you'll never be able to play with them again."

Allow natural consequences.

Sometimes allowing children to experience natural, non-life threatening consequences can help them learn...(If I throw my toy across the room, it breaks.)

For more tips click on " Effective Methods of Discipline".

IN DANGEROUS SITUATIONS...

• Gently grab, don't slap, hands that may touch dangerous things.
• Distract your child's attention from the dangerous activity.
• Hold or carry your child if she refuses to walk with you.

IT'S ALL IN HOW YOU SAY IT...

Describe the action, not the child.

Describe what your child did wrong and what you would prefer, instead of telling him that he is clumsy or stupid.

Express disappointment with the inappropriate behaviour, not with your child.

"Your jacket goes on the hook, not on the floor," instead of: "You are so messy, now pick up your jacket."

Be positive.

Say, "You can watch television after you pick up your toys," instead of: "You can't watch television until you pick up your toys."

Click here for " Tips for Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviour " and " Children and Anger .

Think Twice before acting.

Be aware that it takes time for your child to learn appropriate behaviours. Stay calm and try not to over react. If you are getting too angry or frustrated, try:

• turning around and counting to 10
• taking a few deep breaths to regain self-control
• sending your child to her room while you cool down
• calling or visiting a friend
• thinking about how you can reduce the stressful situation next time
• visit the Parent Help Line website at www.parentsinfo.sympatico.ca for more information and support for parents and caregivers.
  

Click here for a list of titles of other helpful books and resources for parents and caregivers.