Abstinence

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What is Abstinence?

Abstinence is choosing not to have sexual contact of any kind (especially penis-to-vagina) in which there is exchange of body fluids.

As birth control, abstinence means not having male sperm get near the female genital area.

As a way to protect against sexually transmitted infections (STI) abstinence also means having NO oral-genital, anal-genital or intimate skin-to-skin contact.

It doesn’t mean that you can never have sex, but that you have decided not to have sex for a period of time in your life.

Why would you choose abstinence?

Medical Reasons :

• Abstinence reduces the risk of unplanned pregnancy or of getting an STI.
• Abstinence reduces the risk of cervical cancer (research shows a connection between multiple sexual partners and cancer of the cervix in women).

Relationship Reasons :

• Showing love in non-sexual ways helps a couple to have a deeper friendship by learning about each other in other ways. Non-sexual intimacy includes honesty, sharing and commitment in a close, loving relationship without having sex.

Personal Reasons :

• Abstinence can be a sign of maturity (resisting a sexual act that goes against personal moral values and needs).
• Abstinence can keep a couple from deep emotional hurt or from being possessive—things that can happen in a sexual relationship.
• Even if you have had sex before, you may feel positive about choosing to abstain at this point in a relationship or in your life.

How effective is it?

Abstinence is the only choice that is 100% effective against the risk of pregnancy and STIs when followed correctly.

How is it used?

The penis must not come in contact with the opening of the vagina. A woman can get pregnant if semen (fluid from the penis) gets on or near the genital area.

What are the advantages?

• Abstinence is free and readily available for everyone
• Abstinence can be started at any time in a person’s life
• Abstinence may help people build relationships in ways other than through sexual activity
• Abstinence can make you feel good about yourself because you are in control
• Abstinence does not cause any medical or hormonal side effects

 What are the disadvantages?

• If you change your mind about abstinence in the heat of the moment, you may not have any protection such as condoms near by.
• Choosing abstinence does not change your sex drive so you will need to find other ways to redirect your sexual energy (such as masturbation, hand holding, hugging, walking, biking or other physical non-sexual activity)

Important Things to Think About

• Choosing to abstain means being able to say “NO” to sex. It is important to make your decision based on your feelings and to find out what abstinence means for your partner.
• You don’t have to be a virgin to practice abstinence - some people abstain from sex at different times in their lives for different reasons.
• You may wish to connect with a church or sex education programs that have organized support groups or training sessions for young people wanting to wait until marriage before having sex.
• In Canada the majority of teens abstain from sex. Some because they don’t feel ready or are afraid of pregnancy and STIs. Others are waiting for the right person to come into their life.
• Find someone that you trust, respect, and feel safe with to discuss your decision.
• Keep condoms handy in case you change your mind.

Choices you make today have a direct impact on your future. You need to consider how an unplanned pregnancy or serious STI would impact on family, marriage, education and career options as part of your decision about abstinence.